The Week that went by so fast it felt like it never was...

Well, parents came and visited and left already, I got to spend some time with them and see them twice. I got to take my mom to some of my favorite places, introduced her to some of my friends, and help her get a "special project" started. I wish that they didn't live so far away, I would LOVE to scrap with her more often.

Kev and I went to our FAV BBQ place for dinner, only to find that it would be our "Last Supper" there, because thanks to stupid Famous Dave's that moved down the street from them, they were closing. On the up side though, we did score two free T-shirts from "the establishment" thanks a great deal to our AWESOME server that we had. I had to take a pic of us eating there for the last time. So I could scrap it. Because the weather was kind of nice, Kev and I went to a park and walked around and looked for signs of "spring," which we did find quite a bit actually. Some flowers are beginning to bloom/grow, the ice/snow is pretty much gone, and we saw/heard a BUNCH of birds, "talking" back and forth, and somewheres there was a woodpecker pecking. I will post some pics up of our walks through the park over the next couple of weeks.

I sat down and wrote out some short term and long term goals that I want to accomplish after having a lengthy discussion with Kev this morning. I read somewhere that if you write down your goals and keep track of your progress you are like 90% more likely to stay on track and keep them.

Less than a month until I am done with school!! WAHOO!!!! I can't WAIT for this semester to be over and for me to FINALLY graduate!

And to my collab friends who are reading this right now, and for those of you who know I have started writing poetry again, I had to skip out on this week's collab. With my family being in town, and me attempting to play catch up with everything that I needed to get done (Still not done with everything I wanted to get done!) I apologize for not posting any poems this week. My muse is resting this week apparently. I am confident that she will resurface soon.

FYI-I joined ANOTHER ATC group, and I am wicked excited about that. I have already agreed to take part in 3 swaps,and one person-to-person trade with a fabulous lady named Linda that lives in Denmark. I will be getting a cool package of goodies from her soon in the mail, and my friend Steph from the same group should have me something in the mail tomorrow for helping her out with some stamp questions. (She is working on her very own product line!) There are so many creative positive people in my life, I am truly blessed beyond measure. To the ladies that attended my event yesterday I thank you wholeheartedly, and I know that all of you were bemused by my interactions with my mother. Do NOT get me wrong, I love her I REALLY REALLY do...it's just that she makes me CRAZY but I do ADORE and VERY MUCH RESPECT my mother. It was just REALLY HARD TO TELL I am sure. But we have always had a strained relationship, and I fear that we always will. We just know the right buttons to push I guess?

OK signing off for now...

Peace and Wub,
Big A

At least I am Maintaining One New Year's Resolution

I am doing really good about exploring my options and expanding my creative horizons. I am creating a bunch of ATC's and fun fabulous stuff for that group, I just joined up with a MySpace Poetry group, I am taking a Digital Photography class, I am playing with Photoshop CONSTANTLY now, and I am getting ready to explore some ideas with "mini-books" for my scrapbooking. I am contimplating going up to some LSS's tomorrow and do some scrappy browsing. I am even contimplating pursuing a graphic design degree sometime in the near future.

OK time to go do a few chores before bedtime.

Btw...Lee if you are reading this, I LOVE my card you sent me! You sweetie!

First poem in awhile-Group Effort!

OK all...It has been a LONG time since I have written a poem...BE GENTLE!!


Over a Decade of Us
By Fabulously Fractured Feline
(A Cheryl’s Pals Collab – My First One!!!)


My mind wonders to the day that we met.
Over a decade we have been together, I can never forget.
Before you I was drowning in despair and doom.
I was done, the moment you entered the room.
I love the way you love me.
You are the center of my Universe, and you always will be.
Strong and wild, slow and easy, heart and soul, so completely.
Time has not weakened our song.
Everyone said they knew we belonged.
This bond between us won’t break, it’s much too strong.
You challenge my mind and make me see things anew.
I was a wilting flower searching for the morning’s dew.
It makes me smile now, to understand what I already new
How in those first caresses we shared, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Originally captivated by your eyes of blue
As you wrap your arms around me and love me too
You touch me as no others can do
We’re quite the pair, are we, us two—
completely off kilter, but for us right on cue!
I love to reminisce, as you sing me a tune
As we go out for a stroll under the sweet light of the moon
Dancing and twirling the night away
With stars in the sky and our fears at bay
A quiet night together, or a simple kiss
My mind cherishes all of the funny little things, which most just miss
Reaching down from the periwinkle skies above,
We so enjoy our time with you
We feel our ancestors smiling over us
As a heavenly chorus

As this is my first post I hope that you enjoyed it!

I must give credit where credit is due!!!

Thanks for letting me "borrow" your lines:Lady Cheryl
Colleen B, joskibear, LingoDiva, Linda, Ronnale, Lady Oregon, AliciaGrace, Sheila A, ~Susan~,~Insatiable Jewel, Mary Ska, 70schild60ssoul, Pink Sapphire, ---divine, Knight Master, Raiden, Wizard of Awwwwwws

Let me know what you thought!
Hugs!
FFF

Back to Square 1....What a Great Way to Start Over!

So I started the day off in truly a spectacular way. I met one of my buddie's up at Caribou on Union Lake and we had several hours of stimulating convo over some truly delectible coffee. I feel so refreshed and rejuvinated. Immediately when I came home, I kissed my hubster and gave him a hug, he is still currently taking a nap, and I am taking a moment out of my busy "rearranging and cleaning" schedule to post a good word to all my faithful readers. That would be y'all.
I have decided to not take the shit that happens at work so personally anymore. I DEFINENTLY do not need to bring it out of the office, beyond my half hour drive home, and drag it along with my sorry butt into the house. NO MAS! I have a new strategy for how I will conduct myself in the office, and I hope I have the balls to follow through with it. We shall see...I am going to do my best to make sure I stick to this path.
It is high time that I ME MYSELF take the INITITAVE in my life to make sure that I AM THE ONE MAKING MYSELF HAPPY! I can not rely on everyone else to make me happy. A big boulder of happyness is not going to rain down from the sky on my head everyday.
So that being said...I am physically and then emotionally and mentally going to get rid of the "Clutter" in my life. I need to SIMPLIFY! Since I have been reading this "Tao of Pooh" book I find myself saying "What would Pooh do if he were in the situation I am in?"
OK sorry all, but I gotta jet...there is much that still needs to be done...
Peace, Love, and Hello Kitty!
A

I feel Ninja Good...aka I am LUVIN life right now...

Wow! This week is off to a GREAT start! Amber and I TOTALLY kicked some invoicing hinie today! We processed a ton of orders and got a lot done! I love that girl, she is 10 years younger than me and never ceases to make me smile and laugh. She is always so perky and happy. I am feeling pretty good. Nice and relaxed. Mondays are always a bit stressful at work, but we got through it and things are good. I do NOT know what the deal is, but EVERYONE at work almost is sick. Bryan (Beans), Mike, even Kelley. ACK! I FEAR COOTIES! I started with the chewable vitamin C strategy today!
School is back in session for me. Two more months to go! WAHOO! That reminds me...I gotta e-mail my counselor and get things set for my Graduation! I am considering pursuing a Graphic Design degree at some point in the future, but not right now. I am so flipping sick of being in school!
It is about this time, at the end of a long day that I realize...I need new glasses. I can not WAIT for my appointment on Saturday afternoon! My eyes are REALLY dry and I can physically feel the strain on them. Honestly...Wal Mart WAY cool glasses for WHOA! cheap!
OK time to hit hay. Need to get up early again tomorrow and finish reading my chapter for Geology class. I wonder how I did on my first exam???
Peace out homeslices!
A

Beautiful Betrayer...The Devil with a Beautiful Face...

You charmed and feigned your way to earning my trust. You were NEVER my friend. You broke up friendships, attempted breaking up the best relationship I ever had, and generally F-ed over my whole life for awhile. You have shaken the trust I placed in human beings, and reaffirmed the fact that some people are just BORN EVIL and always stay that way. You ruined things for me on so many levels...music, friendships, almost my relationship. I do not HATE you anymore, I have moved on from that. But I will NEVER get over the scars that you have placed on my soul. Even now...no matter how many times I try in my dreams...your memory can not be killed and purged from my mind.
My only solace is this:
1. My man is true blue and would not fail for your cheap slutty little tricks. I wonder if the same can be said for yours?
2. The friendships that were strained are mended, those that really mattered anyways, and the ones that were shattered were kind of broken to begin with. There is a time when you give up the chase. If the person is a TRUE FRIEND they will come back in some form...if not you let go, wish them well and move on.
3. I am much wiser in who I call my "friend" now. I truly adore my best friend, for everything that she is to me that you never were.
4. I am ZEN in the fact that what goes around comes around! You will get yours one day.
I am finally to the point that if I passed by you on the street...I would do just that, pass you by and not acknowledge your presence whatsoever, or give as much acknowledgement as one might a dirty discarded doll...or a beautiful but LEATHAL snake...it might be something you stop and look at for a second to appreciate it's sad beauty, but you do not want to get too close. It took me years, but I have recovered from your toxins, and I just consider you to be pathetic now. So sad really, you are such an unhappy person that you try and steal others happiness away from them.
The devil sometimes comes to us wearing a mask of beauty. This is the message as I interpret it from these dreams.
Your name SHOULD HAVE been Lilith, as Lucifer was already taken.

The Dreaded "R" Word...

Yep, the dreaded "R" word that always shows up around this time of year..."Resolutions"...
I have made several to myself, some of them I will share here...
1. Eat better
2. Lose weight
3. Exercise (I would say more, but anything is more than what I was currently doing)
4. Choose my words wisely.
5. Be kinder to everyone I come in contact with on a daily basis.
6. Be better about my spending habits. Choose what I buy wisely, and really weigh if I need the item, or if it is just a want?
7. Think about/Create some small form of art every day!

Kev and I just joined a gym, tonight was our first workout...I anticipate being sore tomorrow...we have been eating EXTREMELY well lately. AND I am even working on cutting back the amount of caffine I take in on a daily basis...i.e. more water, less pop. We are making better food choices, and keeping healther snacks in the house.
OK I got to hit the shower, and do some studying for my class tomorrow.
Wishing everyone their own version of bliss...
A

Update on 2008 - The year so far...

I am so FREAKING excited. So many good things have happened so far this year...
My friend Susie is engaged, my cousin Jessica just got engaged, my other cousin (Jessica's sister) Tracy is due to have her baby today, my BFF Kristin just got a new dog (his name is Ethan and he is SOOO freaking cute!) I just got an Ipod Nano with my bonus and Christmas money. I got to play around with Photoshop today. (There are several things I am working on for my ATC group. ATC=Artist Trading Cards) Kev and I go back to school this week. This is my LAST semester!!!! YAHOO!!!! Me and Kev have gotten into this REALLY cool video game online, it is FREE (YAY!) and it is SOOOO much fun. It is basically all we did this weekend! haha It is called Flyff. I have another appt. with my therapist on Wednesday. I just feel REALLY good and positive about this year.
There are SEVERAL things I am saving up my money for. There are these TOTALLY pimp Doc Martens shoes that I want sooooo bad...they are gonna have to wait though. I am TRYING to convince Kev to get them for me for Valentines day. They are black and brown and spotted, like cheetah print almost. I need some new shoes bad. And my fav pair of cords just ripped on me...eh, I have had them for awhile, and it is just were the belt loop is...it just adds character right? OK well, I gotta go update my flickr website with new pics, and I will post some on here as well.

Peace, Love, and Prosperity to all in this GLORIOUS New Year!!!!
A

Walking on the Right Path -The Series - Part I

So far the med change has been swell and it feels good to be in therapy again. I am not planning on making this a perminent thing, but we'll see. I am just trying to dear with the "here and now" and not really worry about "the future." I am excited about learning coping skills and developing a plan for dealing with stress. I'm going to start doing some yoga at home I think. I need to make time for daily meditation!

I got a SWEET paycheck today. We can finally finish Christmas shopping now, as the bills are taken care of. WAHOO!

Making somethings for a few people this weekend for Christmas, I can't wait! I love art! Hanging out with my little sister on Saturday, we are going scrapping. That sweetheart called me yesterday and told me that she has something for me for Christmas. (My heart is melting even talking about it!)

Now if I can just quit sleeping all the time I will be golden. I fell asleep at about 8PM, hubster woke me up (to take my nightly meds) and now I felt compelled to blog, and I had to pay a bill online.

Now that is all done, I go to sleepy again.

Hugs and Warm Fuzzies!
A

Music for the day: Panic! At the Disco - A fever you can't sweat out
Mood: exstatic! ;)

Mutation, Evolution, Adaptation

This week has been really hard emotionally! Mondays are ALWAYS long and stressful at work! That's our busiest, because we do not usually work the weekends so a crazy amount of orders needs to be processed in 1 day, Tuesday I took my Acct. class final, which I am thinking I did better than average on that test, I might even get a B-ish type grade on it, instead of the solid C's I have been getting in that class. I should be finding out my grades soon, I did so well in my World Religion class that I didn't have to take the final.

Wednesday my friend got a special screen pass of "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (a twisted, depraved, gross musical-I Loved it!) so we when to the Pladium in B town and saw it, then we travelled over to Comet Burger in Royal Oak for "the perfect food" thier burgers and fries are amazing!

The week took a turn for the worse because I got into a fight with my co-workers and bosses on Thursday, I haven't realized that the meds are not working as they are supposed to. I love my boss Jeff. He is the most compassionate and genuine person I know. He is brutally honest with you too. His opinion is important to me, and we talked about a lot of different things. He told me things that I didn't want to hear, but needed to hear. Things like "you need to find yourself" and "maybe administrative work isn't for you" I am starting therapy again (first appt is on Wednesday with a new Dr. and I would be lying if I said I was not a little nervious.) I know I need this, Kev and I had a lengthy convo last night, which always happens once a semester is over, but there was a lot of things that needed to be cleared up. I am also asking my phych doc to change my meds. I am starting to lose it, literally. I am seeing things that are not there, thinking weird random horrible shit, having night terrors and HORRIBLE headaches again, and I am swinging rapidly between moods. I was not aware it had gotten this bad. I honestly thought I was one small step away from being locked up again on Thursday. Not a good feeling. The ghosts were starting to come out of my subconscience and into my everyday exsistance to bother me. I have been in those hellholes twice, and I do not want to go back EVER again. That is truly hell on Earth my friends. There is no warmth from the staff, you are locked away from your loved ones, and you are faced with people that are MUCH worse off mentally-speaking than you are. You live in a state of contant fear. I thought for sure the first couple of nights that this one particular girl was going to slit my throat in the middle of the night because she liked my glasses. She told me that she was going to kill me to get them, because I would not give them to her willingly, and then 10 minutes later, asked me to sit with her at lunch because we were "friends!" Kev talked to me a little about my "episodes" last night. Freaky is all I will say. You are better off not knowing.

Friday however, was the POLAR (haha I'm so punny!) opposite of Thursday. I was happy, and only surface calm at first, but it permiated my whole being after awhile. Funny thing is, I talked to my mom yesterday, and she said that she never had prayed so hard for me, and my dad too. In the wee hours of the morning before work, when I was sipping my coffee and eating my bagel, I could almost hear them praying as if they were in the same room with me. I had a warm snuggly feeling. Like someone wrapped me in a REALLY soft fuzzy blankie! It felt good. I needed it desperately. Say what you will about religion and prayer, but if it works for someone, who are you to say they are foolish to believe in something more then themselves? Work was good co-workers and bosses were very copassionate and asking how I was and if they could do anything for me.

I have a new mantra now. I got it out of a combo of what my boss told me, and what I am trying to do with my life: "You can't save the world (what I want to do) if you can't save yourself!" (what my boss Jeff told me to do. Be selfish for once, and work on getting myself back to where I need to be!)

Things I am doing to help save myself:

1. Have a Dr. appt to change my meds.
2. Going to talk to someone to find out coping skills for dealing with stress.
3. Writing/blogging for a release.
4. Reading (books and movies are how I escape!)
5. Creating (I have several projects that I want to work on!)
6. Cleaning (the last one you might laugh at but I swear it helps me relieve stress!)
7. Working on a daily meditation practice
8. Working on trying to get into a gym and start working out. (I'm just going to start doing yoga at home for now!)

OK that is all.

What I'm into right now:

Currently Listening to: Franz Ferdinand
Currently Reading: A history of Van Gogh, several Photography books, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and Kushel's Chosen
Currently Feeling: Resolved

What a Good Day!

So totally relaxing and cool day for the most part. Slept in until about noon, got up had a little lunch, worked for about 2 hours, went and did a little Christmas shopping, laughed as my window sheild wiper on the passenger side of my car broke a little, called my friend and asked her to come over to my house instead, so that I didn't have to drive. We had a great dinner at National by my house! Long Live the Hani Sandwich and Chili Cheese Fries! Hit up beaners for some coffee and good conversation. It was so great to see my friend and catch up with her. She had so much stuff to fill me in on, and I had a lot to update her on as well. We did our Christmas gift exchange tonight, as she is going to be in NC with her parents for Christmas, she got me the most kick a$$ presents. She got me a REALLY cute Snow White wallet from HT, and it was filled with ITunes gift cards with free downloadable songs from Starbucks, which was cool. And the most kick a$$ thing was she got me a Coach keyring that is a skull and crossbones. HAHA Yes you know that the world is REALLY coming to an end when COACH puts out something that has skulls and crossbones on it! HAHA! I was listening to Muse earlier, now I have moved onto The Killers! HAHA!!

Poor hubster is working himself to death on a school project, and he is about ready to just call it a day on this particular project I think. Thursday is the end of the semester for us both WAHOO! I have my acct. final on Tuesday.

OK Time to call it a night I think. I got to get up super early for work tomorrow.

Peace!
A

Thus a New Blog is Born....

At the request of a very dear friend, I have created my little corner of the web here. Whew! I am exhausted! I have had nothing but problems trying to get this thing going! The good news is that the flickr.com account is going good, even though I just posted a BUNCH of new pics and I do not see them on my site yet, but whatever.

So tired...I got up really early to take my "Little Sister" and her little sister Mya to the BBBS holiday party today. Not to be mean, but I am LOATHE to drive in Detroit. Not that I am scared or anything, just that it is so confusing to drive down there all the time.

Oh well, we got where we needed to go, the girls got some presents, and we had a good time for the most part. I do not know if Mya will be joining us again on our outings, but that is another story for another time.

Work has been stressful. There are SO many orders that need to be processed, we are actually working weekends now. I talked to my boss today, he would like me to come in tomorrow, and I probably will for a little while anyways.

OK I am literally exhausted, so I am hitting the sack for now.

Peace love and KFC for All!
A